first day at work

writing this as I'm up pumping to prepare for the first day at work after bb was born.

4+ months came and went. what a time it has been! I progressed from a preggy Mommy to having a real baby in my arms. one that could laugh and cry and babble and smile and frown at me, one tiny being who was capable of his own thoughts and emotions. thinking back... it feels kinda surreal. 

i think many a days just went by monotonously. it was more like survival mode on - just react and do. more often than not I took care of him based on instincts. what I felt he needed there and then.. without much knowledge from books whatsoever. 

ok I just finished my pump so I shall go sleep. continue later ok. hehe. 

so the previous para was written at around 4am yesterday lol. and it's the 2nd day of work now and I'm now pumping in my office's nursing room. 

motherhood so far has been really... hmm.. happy? and fun! I don't know if fun is a correct word to describe. yes there are moments of frustration and pain and tiredness. but more often than not there's alot of joy in doing whatever u are doing. because the rewards is like instantaneous. you get true, real feedback from the little one you are bringing up. no fake emotions, no artificial politics, just pure true love. and where else can you find such an environment? no where. and that's why I love taking care of him so much. <3

and that I also know, he's only 4 months once. such an important part of his life now. I really don't want to miss any moment of it.